When it comes to online life, much of the purity content is written with men in mind (see part 1 and part 2). And rightly so, since it is a reality that men are more influenced by visual temptations than women are. But this issue affects women, too. In a world where we often feel valued by our physical appearance, it can be a battle in our own minds to stay pure in our thoughts and motives. We may even be tempted to adopt the “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” mentality. Increasingly, we are told that joining our husbands in viewing graphic materials will actually improve intimacy. Not only that, the soft porn romance novels women have read for years and the recent more in-your-face Fifty Shades of Grey books fill the mind with impure thoughts and create fantasies that can be very harmful in relationships. It seems to me there is a double standard. Why are we women so upset about men’s fantasies but justify our own?
Let’s be real. Many Christian women regularly watch popular TV shows that are filled with promiscuity, adultery, homosexuality, crudeness, and innuendo. As mothers, we carefully monitor what our children are watching because we know they will be affected by what they see. But somehow we think we are immune to viewing ongoing sexual content.
There are so many women who are suffering from the devastation that unfaithfulness has caused in their lives: wives without husbands and daughters without fathers. It is a painful reality that only the Lord Jesus can fully heal. But ladies, we also need to get our acts together and live holy lives. We should not conform to this world in how we view or conduct ourselves.
So what’s a woman to do?
First, we need to embrace a biblical view of what makes a woman valuable. How does the Lord evaluate us?
“The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7b). “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Cor. 6:19f). The precious blood of Jesus Christ was shed for you. You are God’s special treasure. Don’t let this culture determine your thoughts of yourself.
Secondly, read the Word of God regularly. As a mom of five children, I know how hard it is to make sure this happens. But the Word of God is alive and powerful (Heb. 4:12). It cleanses us (Eph. 5:24) and empowers us to have victory over any temptations we face in the area of sexual purity.
Next, pray for the men in your life. Even the most godly men face temptation and they need our support and prayer to endure the onslaught that comes their way on a daily basis. And ladies, we need to pray that we will have the Lord’s perspective on men. I have heard women berating men because they are attracted to women or because of past hurts. This is neither fair nor godly.
Finally, we need to set boundaries for ourselves. Pornography, whether online or in book form, is as readily available for women as it is for men. Statistics show that the number of women viewing pornography is rising quickly. Even though we put filters and accountability in place for our husbands and sons, we need to have set boundaries for ourselves and our daughters as well.
Visit www.whyweweb.com for more information on how to use the internet safely and productively for the Lord.