Lonely People

Few titles given by His enemies to the Lord Jesus were intended to contain so much gall and yet delivered so much sweetness as that of “Friend of Sinners.”

To “receive” sinners as a judge or king might disdainfully do to hear small claims cases in their courts was one thing. But to “eat with them”? It was enough to add an extra curl to His critics’ Pharisaic beards!

Jesus embraced the name Friend of Sinners and reveled in it. Not only did He invite the lower caste—even the outcast—to come to Him for rest, He so convinced them that He was serious about having them as friends that the commoners flocked to Him. He touched their diseased bodies and healed them. He blessed their children when His disciples thought the little ones to be a nuisance, especially when discussing fine points of doctrine. He went into their rude houses, ate their simple fare, sat about their tables for long conversations, and seemed to have endless patience with their questions. He told them stories by the hour, and spoke of hope and forgiveness and peace. Many of them so learned to trust His steady love that they were willing to blurt out their secret longings or sob out their sins to Him. He never brushed them off, never turned one away.

The West has more stuff than they can cram into their lives. They have entertainment at their fingertips, sports leagues, country clubs, internet chat rooms, and associations of every kind. They have shopping malls and amusement parks. Yet for all that, so many are lonely still.

A recent Associated Press (AP) article was titled “Lonely Nation” (8/6/06): “In bleak nursing homes and vibrant college dorms, in crowded cities and spread-out suburbs, Americans confront an ailment with no single cause or cure. Some call it social isolation or disconnectedness. Often, it’s just plain loneliness. An age-old ailment, to be sure, and yet…it is worsening. It seems ironic, even to those who are affected. The nation has never been more populous, soon to reach the 300 million mark. And it has never been more connected—by phone, e-mail, instant message, text message, and on and on. Yet so many are alone in the crowd.”

One factor is that people are too busy for intimacy. Another is the changing complexion of the American household. “The trend toward isolation surfaced in the last U.S. census figures, which show that one-fourth of the nation’s households—27.2 million of them—consisted of just one person, compared with 10 percent in 1950.” The author also cites a study released in June by the American Sociological Review. They found that 25% of Americans said they had no close friends in whom they would confide on important matters; another “19 percent said they had only one confidant—often their spouse.” What happens when that spouse dies?

The story is told of one Helen Granath, an 84-year-old San Francisco widow. She says, “It’s a very lonely existence—most of the time the loneliness can be excruciating and painful. I have very few friends. They’re either ill or they’ve passed away or moved somewhere else.” She says her son “is very busy in the computer business. I don’t see him very often.” The author concludes: “Undoubtedly there are millions who could empathize ….”

And it’s not just older people. “A lot of students go through periods of loneliness,” the article quotes Zanny Altschuler, 20, of Menlo Park, CA. John Powell, an Illinois counselor, says students don’t make “really satisfying connections.” “All the students I work with,” he says, “have incredibly many pseudo-intimate relationships online—but without the kind of risk and vulnerability that goes with sitting across a cafe booth from another person.”

One would have to be in a very dark room to miss the import of this for the gospel. We must take time to make friends with the lonely. Then we can introduce them to that special Someone who said to those who trust Him: “I will never leave you, nor forsake you. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me” (Heb. 13:5-6).